(This one’s not what you think…)

I know, I know- there better be a pretty good explanation to why there’s not a embedded YouTube clip featuring some scary devil band you’ll never listen to. And you’re absolutely right. For behold! There is a reason- by the name of Mount Eerie.

Those of you who keenly follow The Microphones/Mount Eerie’s lengthy output probably already know of what’s coming on August 19th. The name of the record is Wind’s Poem, and by all accounts is very black metal-inspired. That is, musically. Don’t worry- there is no face makeup involved. Yet.

So, what to expect on the new album? In an interview with Stereogum, Eerie’s sole permanent member Phil Elverum says, “Basically the idea with Wind’s Poem is that this crazy beautiful force of erosion and destruction (wind) constantly wraps around the world and permeates our lives, and is occasionally audible, blowing through buildings and branches.” Basically, it sounds like it’s going to rock pretty hard.

Additionally, according to the press junket, the tour in support of the new record will feature two drummers, walls of amps, and….gongs. Crikey.

Here’s the tracklist:

01 Wind’s Dark Poem
02 Through the Trees
03 My Heart Is Not at Peace
04 The Hidden Stone
05 Wind Speaks
06 Summons
07 The Mouth of Sky
08 Between Two Mysteries
09 Ancient Questions
10 (something)
11 Lost Wisdom Pt. 2
12 Stone’s Ode

Just when you thought it was safe.

This video feature by Dark Kirchensteuer gets our award for ‘Best Black Metal Video That Should Not Be Re-Attempted At Home’ Award. Be careful, you kids- it’s a dangerous black metal world out there.

Also, it’s worth noting that the stakes have been raised. You think it’s metal to wear 8 inch spike bracelets? Try head-banging in a tree after you’ve hung yourself. Shoot, son.

This band needs no introduction. The video does all the talking.

I have three favorite things about this video.
1. The portly keyboardist hidden in the bushes. Is that a Casio?
2. The lead singer’s spike bracelets. It’s just a matter of time until Hot Topic gets wind of these. Also, I’m pretty sure this guy was my waiter at Shoney’s the other night.
3. The little choreography interlude where they up-down-up-down together.

After watching this several times, I couldn’t help imagining the following exchange in my head.

“Mom, can Brian and I borrow the camcorder again?”
“No honey. Thursday is job hunting day, remember?”
“Mom! I’m 36! Stop telling me what to do!”
“Fine, sweetie. But can you tell your brother and his friends to put their shirts back on? They’re getting my loveseat sweaty.”
“Okay! And where is your makeup purse at again? I…forgot something in it.”

It just wouldn’t feel like the beginning of the weekend without it.

Today’s feature is a little group that hails from Sweden. Rocking the praises of their dark lord since 1993, Arckanum is unique because their lyrics/screams are written in ancient Swedish. Take that, Peter, Bjorn, and John.

This video breaks all stereotypes that I previously harbored against black metal. This video features just one gothic sojourner (we’ll call him Jim), instead of the usual merry troupe. Also absent is the signature face paint, which Jim seemed to have swapped for a gilded hockey mask. Classy.

The thing that really stands out in the video is what seems to be the endless supply of weapons Jim has tucked away. The best moment of the video is when the sword and the axe are out and the choreography begins. Do Satanists do human videos too? I hope so.

Today’s installation comes straight from the Czech Repubic. And believe it or not, these guys are still around. For those of you who have been following BLACK METAL FRIDAY from the beginning you will note a common theme of peering out from behind trees, lots of makeup, and walking in a seemingly aimless direction. We can only hope that their road leads to some dark abyss of eternal shadows or something equally as rewarding.

Welcome to the first of a ten part series- BLACK METAL FRIDAY. It’s similar to casual Friday, except there are less Hawaiian shirts and a bit more face paint involved. And did I mention the fire eaters? Oh yeah.